Thursday, 6 February 2014

No idea what I am talking about.

2291 words today. The sun shone in the morning. I rode my mare. Lovely Rock on Ruby put in an exhibition round at Donny, to book his ticket to Cheltenham. I thought, on and off, all day, of the little HorseBack foal, battling for her life. The clever surgeon and his team at Glasgow are giving it all they have. I do not know if it shall be enough. I wait for news.

There is a lot of kindness about, from people I know and people I do not. I think of how it bolsters one, and how one needs that daily bolstering. When I say one, of course I mean I. One is a Mitfordian distancing device. I sometimes do not wish to admit that I need strokes. I should like to be self-contained, independent of people’s good opinion, cantering away across the Mongolian plains without asking for anything. I have a faint horror of neediness, I have no idea why. It frightens me when I see it in other people, and I do not care for it in myself. But no woman is an island. I suspect that most people sometimes crave a pat on the back or a bit of a compliment or an encouraging word. Perhaps the secret is to learn to like them, but not absolutely need them. So that if there is a day when everyone else is too preoccupied or a bit scratchy or simply thinking of something else, then one may make do, just with oneself. A little bit of island living is not a bad thing.

This is a most terrible mazy wander. I think I did have something pointful and serious to say, but I just ended up vaguely theorising out loud. I suppose that is slightly the point of this blog, but I sometimes wish for a little more sharpness. The brain has gone to mush and I am now going to sit quietly in a room until my cerebral cortex regroups. Which is pretty much what I do every day.

 

Some pictures from the last week:

6  Feb 4

6 Feb 2

6 Feb 4

6 Feb 5

6 Feb 7

6 Feb 8

My red duchess may look pretty scruffy and woolly and damp, but she is amazingly sanguine, considering the weather she has had to put up with. As always, I am in awe of her goodness and stoicism:

6 Feb 9

And I bless the glorious Amigo rug which keeps her warm and dry, no matter what the elements throw at her.

6 Feb 10

6 Feb 11

6 Feb 12

3 comments:

  1. Oh Tania, this is exactly what I needed to be told today. I am, for the first time in my professional (def not personal) life, Not Falling Into Line. I keep almost beetling in to my boss and saying that I will do the thing that would make life easy for them but which isn't what I want, as I would usually, because I have discovered I do need the pats. So I have been telling myself that professional set backs (if this is what it becomes) are something that happens to everyone and I need to grow up and deal with it. A bit of island living is indeed good.

    And the Not Falling Into Line is entirely motivated by a slightly troubled chestnut gelding who I have some bonkers half formed dreams about...

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  2. Lovely. May I showcase and credit second last tree shot on my bog please Tania? I LOVE it. It looks rather like all the neurons connecting in a brain.

    I do hope the filly pulls through.

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  3. the mare's "beardy whiskers" are inexplicably touching and the picture just above is really really lovely (but then all the others pics are pretty good too!)
    liz

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