Tuesday 28 April 2009

Don't panic!

Posted by Sarah Vine.

So. In anticipation of the imminent collapse of society as we know it, I spend last night nursing my tonsillitis (as it now turns out) and doing a bit of on-line panic buying. It is always entirely possible that I may have got carried away under the influence of rather too much Neurofen Cold and Flu, but here is what I bought.

4 Tuna in Olive Oil 225g
4 Ambrosia Creamed Rice Pudding 425g
4 Ambrosia Devon Ready to Serve Custard 1kg
2 Anchovy Paste 90g
2 Apricot Halves in Fruit Juice 205g
1 Assorted Savoury Crisps 6 x 25g
2 Borlotti Beans 410g
2 Cannellini Beans 410g
2 Chopped Italian Tomatoes & Basil 400g
2 Cooks' Ingredients Olive Oil for Cooking 1L
2 Custard Creams 400g
2 Flageolet Beans 400g
2 Greek Currants 500g
2 John West Corned Beef 340g
2 Mandarin Oranges in Light Syrup 310g
2 Nestle Condensed Milk 450g
2 Peach Halves in Fruit Juice 410g
2 Pineapple Slices in Fruit Juice 220g
10 Pure Apple Juice 6 x 200ml
1 Ready Salted Crisps 6 x 25g
2 Rich Tea Biscuits 400g
4 Still Mineral Water 5L
4 Spaghetti Hoops 410g
2 Spam Chopped Pork & Ham 340g
2 Tunnock's Caramel Wafers 16 x 30g
2 UHT Semi Skimmed Milk 6 x 1L

Personally, I think that makes for a very good bunker menu. It may have been slightly influenced by the fact that I was watching Ashes to Ashes as I did it. Note the custard creams. Very important for morale, don't you think?

10 comments:

  1. As i was reading down it, I did think 'why the 70s influence?' but probably you've got most nutritional needs covered - but why not more pulses - think protein and carbs (balanced obviously by sharing-a-bunker-consideration).

    Apparently there's only enough milk in London (?) for 8 hours... Is this important because the British can't survive a crisis without a cuppa? And if like me, you can't stand tea, am i better off because i won't be fighting over the last dented leaking skimmed milk carton, or worse off because coffee will only increase my anxiety (- but would give me an edge in the milk fight)?

    Wasn't ashes to ashes great last night? I just knew it was the masons, but is Ray a goner to the dark side?

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  2. I think that the Ambrosia custard should be on every menu. It really IS ambrosial!

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  3. I think that they are all just foods from my childhood, hence the comfort factor (I was the only girl I ever knew who sctively liked semolina). Also, they're in tins. I did put a load of pulses on too at first, but then thought what if I can't actually cook anything. Perhaps I should go back and add lots of Swan Vestas.

    Highly unlikely that the brits could survice ANYTHING without a cuppa.

    Ashes to Ashes was HUGE. Am obsessed with Keely Hawkes's (sp?) eyeshadow.

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  4. Her blue eye is better than anything that was ever around then - have been examining her eyeliner too. And i thought last night's black jumpsuit a triumph. I was never that cool - arguably due to age, I spent a considerably period the the 80s in those lycra neon striped cycling shorts with a bright t-shirt, red braces (I have no idea why - i just wanted to cram on the colour), multicoloured socks and roller boots. I aspire to be Keeley Hawes (perhaps?) now!

    Comfort food - what a good thread that would be. Mine - chicken chausseur as cooked by Ma when we came back from swimming on a wednesday; macaroni cheese (tinned, packet, nigel's, whatever); sausage sandwich.

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  5. Loved the black jumpsuit; also the boots with that heel, I had a pair just like them. I think they can from Saxon - do you remember Saxon! Also, the hair. Hee hee.

    Avon have got some really good brightly coloured mascaras at the moment. My favourite is Supershock intense in teal. Thoroughly Duran Duran.

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  6. You were watching Ashes To Ashes and you didn't order any oxtail soup? Tchuh you lightweight. A shameful small part of me wants Keeley Hawes's white leather biker jacket. Sadly, since I don't look like her, I am glad I don't own one...

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  7. I think if you looked like KH, you could pretty much get away with anything. I was kind of more on the Shaz end of it - v similar hairstyle, really quite nerdy, but obsessed with reading, horses and reading about horses - Jill's gymkhana and the series, borrowed from Ma - got me through an awful lot and i still bang my head the requisite number of times on the pillow as alarm clock (weirdly does work).

    Saxon or saxone or was that something different? - school shoes, grey leather pixie boots, god the amount of dead cow we used to tout around.

    I have to admit, i did walk out of the bedroom afterwards to brush my teeth repeating 'Oxtail. Now' to myself in various degrees of growly roughness until my husband told me i wouldn't ever be as cool as Gene and could i please stop now cos he couldn't hear how we are all going to die from pig flu?

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  8. Oxtail! how could I have forgotten! I'm sure Tania has a real oxtail recipe, it's the sort of thing she's brilliant at. I had a white leather jacket, though. And a red one. I got them in the market in Turin. Those were the days.

    Gene Hunt is very cool. I love that storyline, about him being secretly on her side, because it's every girl's fantasy when you fancy the cool boy in school that he secretly thinks you're fab, but can't let it show because he doesn't want to lose face in front of his mates. Then it's all you and him against the world, which is awfully exciting. Never happens in real life, of course.

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  9. Quick confession - no it never does, but I regularly have dreams when I'm with a boy (man, bloke, whatever) but the point is he's famous - recent ones have indeed included David Tennant and Ant and Dec (together) and we're really good mates and we have adventures and a really really cool time. And nothing untoward ever happens (I am faithful to my husband even in sleep, I'm proud to say), but we have the BEST time. And we're amazing friends with just a smidge of a hint of yearning and having adventures and saving the world... Is that weird? And it never happens in real life ever - although can we put that down to not-very-nice blue eyeshadow and red braces?

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  10. I love your 1970's bunker food - although I am now very hungry. May I suggest also Smash and Angel Delight as they satisfy both criteria?

    If I knew how to work the buttons on my pc I'd do a venn diagram on it: Another much missed 70's staple in my view.

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